Fake Red Sox news!

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Red Sox sign Kevin Cash to play 2nd base

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John Lackey gives Nick Punto his “America’s greatest American” award

After batting well under the mendoza line at .125, Red Sox utility player, Nick Punto, was given a special award for a very special person. That person you ask is the legend himself, John Lackey.

Lackey gave Putno the “America’s greatest American” award for being so useless it is considered patriotic.

John first received the award in spring training after responding to a question with “Thats retarded” about drinking in the club house.


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Dustin Pedroia on the trading block.

It was discovered earlier today that Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia isn’t actually injured, but a ploy to soften the blow to fans when he is traded to make second base phenom, Nick Punto, the everyday starter.


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Red Sox to start wrapping players in bubble-wrap on and off the field.

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Ben Cherington to announce that the Red Sox will officially change their team name to the “Red Sux” after the game today.

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Red Sox win over White Sox 1-0 will not count due to the fact the Red Sox played a game under 3 hours.

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Bobby Valentine says the bullpen is fine

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Red Sox getting out of the gate and sprinting


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Alfredo Aceves to start pitching in drag. “The dresses allow better arm movement and no leg restrictions.” Alfredo said. Zoom

Alfredo Aceves to start pitching in drag. “The dresses allow better arm movement and no leg restrictions.” Alfredo said.


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Bobby Valentine has named Junichi Tazawa and Andrew Miller as the 4th and 5th starters.

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